IGNORED, THE


Volume XV: BLACK TRUMP

Peter Pann
- A surly, foul-mouthed Ace of indeterminate age housed in an angelic, blond, freckly-faced eleven year old body. Pann may well be the perfect private detective. His boss, Jay Ackroyd certainly thinks so. Pann also controls his own set of operatives in the form of 'tinks' - miniature fireflies he can call into existence anytime he claps his hands - who do all the shit work and report back to him telepathically when they're done.

Balthazar - Tall, fairly normal-looking Joker with the exception of the huge yellow goat's eyes. Luckily, God invented sunglasses. Problem solved.

Snailfoot - Handsome Joker with a cultured English accent and a stooped, deformed body that he usually keeps hidden beneath a black cloak. Although you can probably make a decent guess as to what it looks like thanks to the giant snail's foot protruding from the bottom and the trail of slime behind him.

Captain Flint (Brigadier Kenneth Foxworthy) - A British Ace and senior agent in the Order of the Silver Helix - a kind of government agency for Aces. Foxworthy is a huge, 8-foot tall slab of living rock who weighs in at over a ton and, as a result, tends to move and talk v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y. Besides being virtually indestructable, he's also able to shoot lethal razor-sharp rocks at assailants by merely snapping his fingers in their direction. Good poker player, probably.

Joseph Coan - He's not only the proprietor of Belfast's weirdest Joker pub, he is the pub - the virus having previously scattered his consciousness throughout the bar like so much psychic confetti. Surprisingly, it hasn't affected his day-to-day existence in the slightest.

Brian - Diminutive Joker and Twisted Fist fanatic who looks like a green leprechaun and fuels his 'little man' complex by being as ruthless, psychopathic and unpleasant as possible. Gimli was obviously a big influence. Can you guess his nationality?

Scarlet Will - Another member of the Twisted Fists and another walking cliché, Will's an asthmatic Irish Joker terrorist with, yes, red hair and fiery red, dry papery skin who keeps as far away from open flames as is humanly possible. Cigarette, sir?

Cara O'Neal - The third Joker in this terrorist cell is a normal looking woman apart from the unbroken skin below the nose, although the Wild Card balanced things out by allowing her to communicate telepathically. It's just not the same, though - "Die, nat scum!" really needs to be spoken out loud to achieve its full impact.

Stand-In - The fourth member of the group is a mismatched Joker who never knows what to wear, due to his constantly morphing arms and legs that look like they've been grafted on from four different people.

The Lion (Rangit Singh) - He's not actually a lion, it's a metaphor or something - although he does roar like one whenever he leaps into action. Another of the British Silver Helix Aces, Singh is 6"6' (6"8' if you count the turban), powerfully built with an impressive beard, large hands and enhanced strength.

The Highwayman (John Bruckner) - Originally hailing from London's East End, Bruckner's a stocky Ace who specialises in transporting people, and things, in the shortest time possible by taking 'short cuts' through a weird parallel dimension that only he can access. Worked for the Silver Helix until he discovered that mercenaries who aren't fussy about who they work for get paid a helluva lot better. And the hours are more flexible.

Bowler - Another misguided member of the Twisted Fists, this well-dressed British Joker's been cursed with a fleshy growth on the top of his head in the shape of a bowler hat. Unfortunately, his attempt to fade into the background by blackening it with matte paint has to be considered a failure since no-one in England actually wears bowler hats anymore.

Tarek - Small, wizened Joker with pale skin, tiny quick feet and a sharp sense of smell. If he looks as though he spends a lot of time underground, it's because he does. The lack of chin, the long teeth and the strong resemblance to a rodent do little to alter this impression.

Owl - Tall, thin, teenage Joker and Twisted Fists wannabee with downy feathers around his ears and a bad case of hero worship towards anyone tougher than he is. Which is just about everybody.

Lord Tung - Chinese Joker and highly successful smuggler of antiques, whose perfect Oxford-accent would probably go unnoticed were it not for the fact that he's also a very large monkey.

 

 

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