IGNORED, THE


Volume V: DOWN AND DIRTY

Deadhead (Glen Stephens) - Teenage ex-art student, member of the Shadow Fists, and unhinged Ace who, due to his diet, looks 30 years older than his actual age. Possesses the unfortunate ability to access a corpse's memories by eating the brain, which naturally raises the question: how the hell did he discover he even had this ability in the first place?

George RR Martin's Wild Cards WhiskersWhiskers - Joker and Shadow Fist member sensitive about his appearance, but then, you probably would be too if you looked like him. With the exception of his eyeballs, every part of his face - even his tongue - is covered in thick fur. Probably speaks with a lisp as a result, thereby reducing the scariness factor by a considerable degree.

Melt - Yet another Shadow Fist gang member, this tall, bald-headed Joker's flesh is in constant motion, flowing down his body like wax, with tumorlike lumps constantly passing beneath and distorting his skin and features. Meeting this guy on a full stomach is not recommended.

Linetap - And, yes, another member of the ubiqutous Shadow Fist organisation, this Joker comes in a small, scaly package, complete with fangs, orange face, and erratic telepathic abilities. Usually employed as a lookout.

The Sculptress - An Ace with the ability to make metal and stone flow like water under her hands. The perfect power for anyone wanting to rob bank vaults, so that's precisely what she did until caught by the Turtle. Subsequently sequestered into government service, which means she's probably still doing exactly the same thing, but legally.

Video - Frail, teenage Joker with perfectly round, white eyes and the telepathic ability to project anything she's seen in video form as long as there's enough light. Unfortunately, the presence of any electrical equipment in her vicinity sends her nervous system into overload, which pretty much limits every aspect of her life. Will probably have to upgrade to DVD at some point, though.

George RR Martin's Wild Cards PesticidePesticide - Beautiful, scarlet-skinned Ace with butterfly eyes and two large antennae protruding from her forehead, who writes the society column for The Jokertown Cry. Generally easygoing, if pissed off she can call forth a plague of flesh-eating insects from her mouth. Tip: if she starts glowing, run.

The Twisted Sisters - Two identical twin Jokers in possession of long, thick, grey hair with a life of its own. Can cause it to become insubstantial, creep into your lungs or windpipe, and thicken again, usually resulting in excruciating pain and/or death. The girls with the sun in their hair.

Stigmata - The clue's in the name. An unfortunate Joker who bleeds constantly from every pore, and can usually be seen sporting a colourful (red) selection of bandages and rags in a valiant attempt at reducing drippage.

Shroud - Mysterious Joker able to turn vapourous and disappear into shadow. The clock's against him though, as he loses substance with each passing day and will eventually become permanently intangible.

Charles Dutton - A major power in the Jokertown community, Dutton is a tall, reclusive Joker and here's why: his face is a hideous living skull. Nevertheless, he owns the Bowery Wild Card Dime Museum, and has a large interest in the Crystal Palace, where he occasionally drops by in the hope of extracting the latest gossip from Chrysalis.

Tomoyuki Shigeta - The sushi chef at Aces High is a thin, 7ft tall Ace able to turn into a dolphin for several hours during each new moon. That's useful.

Bozo - It was his bad luck to be wearing clown make-up when the virus struck. Now it's there permanently. Maybe he's laughing on the inside. Probably not, though.

Mishmash - A real mess of a Joker. Patchily coloured skin, one leg triple-jointed and pointing backwards, the other one pointing forward and ending in a clubfoot, a cluster of tiny hands growing from his swollen, right forearm, and an extra head protruding from his gut. Still, could be worse, eh?

Blind Sophie - Middle-aged female Joker with enhanced hearing thanks to a pair of cartoon-like ears that inflate and rise from her hair like balloons when she homes in on something. Looks faintly ridiculous but what does she care? She's blind.

 

 

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